My life is incredibly hectic right now, and held together only by the fact that I'm keeping it all semi-organized in my new planner. Every time someone asks me to do something extra I just feel like I'm going to pop... I'm the kind of person who needs breathing room and quiet, empty spaces.
to my great amusement, my parents reported to me that while at their card club, all of my friends parents were talking about booking me to do their kid's pictures next year. At this rate, and this is completely honest, I'm going to have to start scheduling this year. It's good though... it'll secure me some money next summer + my job.
I'm really glad that my time is more organized this year. I'm actually able to function day to day without freaking out about "whens". If this was me last year, I'd be doubled over with the pressure of 8 classes, no lunch or study hall, work, senior photos, school paper, scholarships, standardized test prep, and actually being a functioning member of society, AND art. I can always find time for art.
Whew... I feel much better now that I've gotten all of that out of my head. Less poetic than normal... I always write what comes to my mind, and in this case, it was my entire life. Sometimes I just need to empty it all out, and look at in the third person.
I'm so grateful for everything... everyone... for my past. People say they wish they hadn't done this or that, but forget that it's those things that make us who we are. Mistakes are only mistakes if you just let them pass by without examining them. My life is one giant mistake I'm proud to say.
One massive, beautiful, romantic, dreaming, idealistic, silent, gazing mistake.
Today, one of my best friends asked me what the difference was between loving and being in love.
And I knew exactly what to say.
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